Family Rituals

I have been thinking and have decided that my family needs more rituals - more things that we do every single year as a family that my kids can look forward to. Things that they can look back when they are adults and say - remember that year when we did.......remember how we always used to do XYZ and how much fun that was...........

I have also decided that I need to build more memories with my own Mom and Dad, so I need to plan things with them as well. I am noticing lately that they are not going to be around forever like I initially planned when I was 6 - who knew?

The problem is - I didn't really have this in my own life growing up so I am running dry on ideas of what to plan. I'm not really an outdoorsy type of person, so camping is out of the question until I am rich enough to afford a camper with plumbing. So cross that right off the list.

Here is what I have thought of so far:
- Boston Duck Tours (I've never been)
- Rent a house on the cape in the summer

Yep - that's it folks. I need some ideas!!!!!!!

I want to bring the kids into the city more but I don't know anything about what they offer to be very honest! I want my kids to know our city of Bsoton better than I did. I don't think I ever went into the city until I was old enough to hit the club scene and that's just not the same thing. I want them to experience more in life so they don't have that fear of the unknown that I seem to have grown up with.

So help a girl out who has lived here her ENTIRE life, yet has never experienced all that New England has to offer!

My Baby is Sick!

My 2 year old daughter had a 104 degree fever last night at 11pm. I hate it when they are sick this young - it's hard for them to understand why they are feeling so crappy and giving medicine is a chore and a half because you can't really explain to them that the medicine will make them feel better. They just think it's yucky - tasting....

So the fever last night made me nervous but when ypu have small kids, this is just "normal", and the fevers are always the highest at night. Don't ask me why but any parent can attest to this bizarre fact. What worries me is that this morning she woke up with the fever almost as high as last night. We got some Tylenol into her (thank god there was only minimal argument) and she drank some apple juice so now it's a waiting game. As long as she is drinking and we can control the fever with medicine there's nothing else to do but let her little body fight the virus.

It was SO hard to come to work this morning, but as a working Mom I have to save my sick occurrences for the inevitable day that I will catch what the kids have. It would be different if they were in daycare because then they would have to stay home and then so would I, but since my Mom watches them I am lucky enough (in a way) to be able to leave them with her and still come to work without racking up a sick day list longer than my arm. It wouldn't be the first time in my career that I have been put on warning for too many sick instances. But as a Mom you make that choice, you stay home knowing the consequences in the workplace. You try to find a balance but when your kids need you, the scales get tipped in their favor - no if's and's or but's about it.

So my little baby is home in fleece PJs to keep her fever-warm body from shaking in the chilly air. And I am here at work longing to be home cuddling her on the couch. But I warned my Mom that I will be calling every hour on the hour for updates!

When September ends

Can you believe it's the last weekend in Sept? I cannot believe next week is October and Halloween is right around the corner!

I LOVE september - it's perfect fall weather and still nice enough to get outside with only a light jacket on. I am dreading what will probably be a VERY cold and snowy winter since we got off pretty easy last year. If my theory of alternating years works it's gonna be a bad one!

Apple picking this weekend was cancelled because of a bad forecast - then of course the day was sunny and warm! Darn that NE weather! So we have re-scheduled to this coming weekend and that will be so much fun with the kids and my family! We always get the BEST picstures of the kids in the trees! Can't wait for fresh apple crisp!

Work is getting busy with year-end right around the corner so please excuse any coming lapse of e-mails during the week everyone!

My step-daughter-in-law has told me that she will be here Oct 9-13 with my little grand-daughter so I am excited about that and trying to keep the drama minimal. It will be nice to have them spend some time with my kids and my husband's side of the family for the week.

My little man likes to be funny and quote that popular song saying - Mom - I'm goign to bed now - wake me up "When September Ends"! (so funny, isn't he folks?) Well wake up buddy!!!!!

No More Drama

I am sick of it - sick to death! Why does everything always seem to be such a bigger issue than it has to be? Why is it that I can no longer see the basic innate goodness in people?

In the last week I have:
--Had my step-daughter throw me under the bus with both her parents for no reason other than I wouldn't do what she wanted (typical teenager). I am no longer talking to her to avoid the drama.
--Then my stupid husband tries to break in to my e-mail behind my back to read my e-mails to her on the situation. (this is a whole bigger issue of my oh-so-wonderful marriage)
--My step-daughter-in-law has changed the date of when she visiting MA and doesn't seem to want to share the new plan with me even though she's staying in my home for part of that visit. I am no longer asking questions about it - when she shows up - she shows up.
--Also I have sent BOXES of clothes for the baby that my 2-year old has outgrown and she can't even write me a note to say that she received them and a thanks!!! Even if she hates the clothes I still think she can fake it and say thank-you, right? Won't be sending any more clothes her way.
--I send an e-mail to my husband's family to let them know that I went out of my way to make copies of his trip to Germany last month so they all have pics of the nephew/grandson that is now deployed - not a SINGLE ONE can respond back with a Thank-you? I will not being doing them any favors in the future.

I am sick to death of it - I feel like I keep putting myself out there to do "the right thing" and I am sick of getting slapped in the face for it. I was raised in a good home by good parents that taught me to be kind to others - do the right thing......well pardon me but that's not exactly working out anymore....

Talking to my very best friend A - I want to do what she did a few weeks back when she was feeling deflated and beaten up by the world - buy a bag or doritos, crawl under the covers, and just cry myself to sleep. But I can't because I have kids who need me and a husband who doesn't pick up the slack when I need him to. So instead I go home, put on my happy face and ask my little man how his day at school went.

I am going to move to Alaska and live in an ice hut........that's the new plan........

Thank god my wonderful sister K made me chocolate chip cookies last night because she could tell I was upset and needed a pick-me-up.....it will probably be the only thing that gets me thru the day. Why can't more people be like my family and friends? What is wrong with the world?

OK - venting and drama OVER......moving on with life.......

Just had to share

I just got a call from my Mom who wcthes my kids full-time for me (lucky, aren't I?). She often calls during the day with some cute story so that I don't feel like I'm missing out on their entire day while working in the office.

So today's call was just so cute that I had to share - my 2 year old was coloring a picture with crayons when all of a sudden she disappeared with the red crayon. (I know, I was cringing at this point as well) My Mom found her in her room sitting on the floor coloring her fingernails! yes - with the red crayon! She looked up at my Mom with a big smile and said "I polish!" and was so proud of herself! She then proceeded to grab my Mom's hand and "polish" them crayon-red as well! For those that know my mother, you know how truly funny this is! Last week she had found a silver glitter-glue pen and "polished" her toenails with that!

Is she just too funny or what? Where the heck does she come up with this stuff?

I also had to go out today to go buy forks - why just forks you ask? Because in her attempt to "help" my daughter often tries to put the dishes away after she eats. However they usually end up in the trash instead of the sink. My house is now down to 4 forks in the drawer. But how cute is she?

Kids just crack me up - is hilarious to me that they all want to "help" at this age. She helps me vaccuum, do the dishes, laundry, whatever chore I happen to be working on. Of course it takes double the time to get it done but it's one of those moments you have to remember as a parent to just enjoy the kids and encourage the good behavior. So what if it takes you an hour to clean the bathroom instead of 20 minutes?

Now if I can just get my 7-year old to want to help again......hhhmm......

Candy Making

So I decided to do a totally Mom thing on Sunday - I made candy with my 7 and 2 year old!!!!! That's right folks - lollipops and everything!

The husband got last minute Pats tickets and as soon as he left me and the kids were out the door on the prowl for something fun to do together! I found the cutest Halloween candy-making kit at Michael's craft store. I felt like such a good Mom!

Working full-time too often my weekends get caught up in running errands, cleaning the house and stuff that I just can't get done during the week. Then before I kow it it's Sunday evening and the whole weekend was nothing but work, work, work (as my son would say). It felt so incredibly good to just sit down with my kids and do something fun - just the three of us. I will have to be sure to do things like this more often with them - it was an afternoon I will remember for quite some time.

After were done and the 2 year old had melted chocolate in her hair and all over her clothes I decided that maybe for next time we would wait until she's a little older.....

9/11

I was sort of glossing over the date - I just couldn't listen to the memorials this morning on the radio and TV. I don't want to believe that it ever happened - never mind all that has changed in this country in the last 5 years. Better or worse I am still not sure - but a LOT of change.

Then I saw a note from my step-son who is deployed right now:

"over here"
Hey everyone,
i just wanted everyone to know that im here and im ok. Sorry that it took so long but u can just imagine the lines for the phones ad internet.I miss everyone already, especialy my N and A. In doing finr besides the heat..haha 130 yesterday thats a big jump from what im used to.I've been hitting the gym two times a day and running a lot, i've lost 5 pounds already.Well ill try and write again as soon as possible. I love you all and take care.
C
Good-nite sweetdreams I love u N and A

(Names have been edited - N is his wife and A is his daughter)

He posted it on his myspace page so everyone in the family could see it - I cried. I watched vidoes of him with his daughter before he left and I cried. He called his dad just to chat and say hi when he got a chance yesterday - and I cried.

I am so very proud of him I feel like a cartoon character with my chest puffed out strutting down the street or something - but also so very sad at the same time.

So he's OK right now - they him stationed somewhere where the guys can acclimate to the climate and extreme temperatures then who knows where he'll be sent.

But I send e-mails to his wife with jokes to make her laugh and ask about the baby constantly and only make passing mention of C and if she's heard from him.....I think I will live my life this way for the next year. My husband plays military-simulation games and watches every war movie and TV show he can find - how can he do that? I avoid things that remind me of the situation at all cost. Don't know what is better - to be hyper-aware of the terminology and situtions and such or bury your head in the sand. For now I prefer to just bury my head. Is that wrong?

My heart goes out to all the men and women who are putting their lives on the line to defend our country - we owe them and their loved ones so very much. I just never thought I would be included in that statement.

I am proud to be an American - and proud to have my son be over their defending our right to a free country. But I still hope it will be over tomorrow and he will be home safe.

He told my husband last time he saw him that these flags were for the family members to display when they had a loved one deployed - a beacon of a safe return home. I know I'll be flying mine until he walks up and takes it down himself next year.

http://www.rangerjoes.com/service-banner-flag-single-star-p-2625.html

Inner peace

Calmness in our lives

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives.

By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never finished."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

Back to School

So here I am all distraught about the bus schedule, the all day classes, the lunch in the cafeteria for the first time and my little man comes home and tells me:

"it was boring"

Yep - that's his big response to his first day back to school in first grade.

Apparently all they did all day is work, work, work and they only got recess ONCE - can you believe it?

Finding a Balance

Finding a Balance - this is something I find myself thinking a lot about lately. It's obviously a very personal choice and I think it takes several tries and possibly failures to get it right. How do you find the balance between...

Being a Mom and having a career?
Your boyfriend/husband and your family?
Your boyfriend/husband and your friends?
Your kids schoolwork and playtime?
Your own time and your time with the kids?
Working overtime to pay the bills and still enjoy life?

Often these things overlap so it's not just a balance of just one equation but several of the above. I think it's a matter of having open communication all around you - we need the constant feedback from our loved ones to let us know when we are leaning too far one way or the other. Because it's hard to see it when you are the one in the midst of it. I think the key to finding success in a balance is to be able to hear people out, think about what it means to you and adjust appropriately for what feels right for you.

This is where I struggle. I always feel like I am failing at something if I start to find the balance in another. I am working the overtime to pay the bills right now and getting the financial aspect in balance, but then my little man starts acting out because he's not getting enough attention. So I went back to the juggling board and am working a few less hours and making sure I am on full Mom alert at his upcoming soccer games this fall.

Thank god for the honesty and support of my friends and family - I couldn't keep it all going without you!!!

Also thank you for cutting me a break when I needed it - it's a hard lesson to learn that you can't be super-mom ALL THE TIME. But I can come pretty darn close with all your help!